Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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