The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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