just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
