Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
