I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
