I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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