i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
In America we eat man semen.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
