Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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