So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
