didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize