We're facebook friends in real life
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
