well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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