I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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