just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
