I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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