Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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