our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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