i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i think i just lost a toe
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
