If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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