You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
