how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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