i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
hell yes lets make some ravioli
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
