Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
