I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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