Small penises have feelings too.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
