my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
