She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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