at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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