i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
