Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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