I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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