saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
