He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize