he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
