i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
