Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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