I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
