we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
she smelled like a LAN party
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
