But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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