it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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