he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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