spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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