By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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