Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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