You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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