No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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