no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
