Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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