I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I'm always down for nudity.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
