Screwed.edu
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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