i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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