It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
