; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
