if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
