Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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