What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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