Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
