I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
