dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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