What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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