Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
