dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
