Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
