Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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