Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
