there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
