We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
