apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
