i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
is it fun? or sober?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
