eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
