arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
