I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
